Support & Anguish

Dimensions 23.5” h X 16” w X 5” d, 23.5” h X 16” w X 5” d

Through this sculptural self-portrait, I utilized gauze plaster, molded wax with essential oils and LED lights to create a representation of my invisible pain and a call to how others may feel about it. I am making the invisible visible. To take these feelings and turn it into a visible piece. At first glance, one can’t always tell how someone is feeling.

From my time in serving this country and due to the treatment received by not only the Army but the Veterans Affairs, I personally have many emotions and physical feelings. While much has changed and healed since my injuries and following surgeries, I live with pain daily. This experience can be isolating. To try to challenge this isolation, in the development of this sculptural series, I took a survey of veterans to gather their words and stories about their pain. Through these connections and the similarities of our struggles, I realized how common the words I also use are.

While creating in wax, I was reminded of the endurance, patience, gentleness, and personal determination that is needed to live with the long-term pain we all suffer. However, in the process of creating and sharing this art, I, other members of my community who are not veterans shared their stories of pain and struggle. Making these sculptures has brought forth feelings of physical and emotional pain as well as relief. When the lights in the room are low, the words that are carved into the cast wax backs glow as they practically scream what is quite in the light. In full light, the words are still there, but they whisper. They whisper the same pain, but with a different and more public voice. Which allowed me to create a piece of me for all to see.